hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
