If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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