i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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