I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
