I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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