I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
