I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
