Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You're completely useless in the revolution.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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