That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
