Kiss
Puke
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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