it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
