You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
