Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize