She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize