So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
