I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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