She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's official drugs can't kill me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
