Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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