Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
