I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize