I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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