Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
being pregnant is like rehab
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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