Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
