i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
