am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
