I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
