i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize