I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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