I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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