sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
