Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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