hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
