So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
