i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize