Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
