i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
