i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When did angry sex become our thing?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
