Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
