She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
