I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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