Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i now understand why vodka
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
