do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
