Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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