I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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