You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So vagazzling was a success
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
