we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
