Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize