I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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