and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
