I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
