But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
