someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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