OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
