Nicole vs. Life
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
