It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
