I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Randomize
