how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
