I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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