I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
