sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
