We won't sleep together?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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