Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
