The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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