You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We have started to decorate penises.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I deserve this hangover.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
