Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize