just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize