Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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