Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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