it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
